seynee: (Default)
seynee ([personal profile] seynee) wrote2010-07-08 11:03 am

spill your heart out.

INBOX.


Leave me an anonymous comment pouring your heart out. Say anything. Tell me your stories, your secrets, those things no one ever asks but you wish to tell. Tell me about your love, your hate, your indifference, your joy. Tell me what's inside of you when you're reading through these entries on your friends list, and tell me why you continue to come back here. Tell me anything. Tell me what you really think of me or yourself. Anything you like.

Post anonymously. Speak honestly. Post as many times as you like ♥

(Anonymous) 2011-01-23 11:24 am (UTC)(link)
Wow. Long time no see. Uhm.

I can't. He'll be heartbroken. But it doesn't matter anymore because according to him, they're quote unquote over.

And yes, we're actually talking about the same him. I find it sort of relieving that I'm not in love with him though everyone else thinks we are in love. But I can't. He's not my type. He's too... girly...

This is sad. He's my male best friend and all I can think is how annoying he is when he's "in love" with people.

Re: hi

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 12:18 pm (UTC)(link)
you're welcome, I guess? :)
hahaha no one's ever a failure with anything
just try harder, dear. I see you have the talent right there

this isn't taking my time at all
you deserve some appreciation :)
besides, I'm bored and got nothing to do anyway

[identity profile] seynee.livejournal.com 2011-01-24 01:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Unff, no. I prefer:

I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN
I'LL FOLLOW YOU UNTIL YOU LOVE ME
PAPA-PAPARAZZI

*is shot*


Re: hi

[identity profile] seynee.livejournal.com 2011-01-24 01:30 pm (UTC)(link)
I suppose you're right. Who's your favorite poet? :)

Oh, me too! Although I suppose I should be busy packing up for my trip. Unf.
Oh well. How have you been? ♥

Re: hi

(Anonymous) 2011-01-28 10:23 am (UTC)(link)
favorite poet.. hmm.. I'd say Maya Angelou..

I'm good. just listening to some music and trying to sleep
lately, I've been busy writing and writing all day long
it's really hard when you want to find a job, support yourself and trying to be independent from writing

so, how about u? :)

Re: hi

[identity profile] seynee.livejournal.com 2011-01-29 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
I have to admit I've never read anything by Maya Angelou, unfortunately. Would you care to recommend me one or a few? :)

Glad to hear that you've been productively writing! Yeah, I agree. Making writing a career is really hard, especially when you first start out - but it's not impossible, so long as you have the mind and determination to do it. Is writing the kind of path you want to take?

I've been good, actually. Still on holiday, which makes me lazy, haha. You can say I'm just enjoying life as it is. ♥

hi

(Anonymous) 2011-02-11 07:09 am (UTC)(link)
hi there! just want to say that i really do love your writing and it really inspires me so much. especially that Pepsi Theory :)

hope to read more of you stories.

Re: hi

[identity profile] seynee.livejournal.com 2011-02-13 07:22 am (UTC)(link)
Hi there, how are you? Thank you so much for taking the time to say this, whoever you are. It's nice to know that what I wrote is read, but it's even nicer to know that it inspires you! I have no idea how it could, but I'm really glad it's of some use ♥

And I hope to see more of you! ;)

(Anonymous) 2011-02-15 01:46 am (UTC)(link)
I don't really have much to say other than your writing is very beautiful. The way words flow in your writing is so... aesthetic? I guess. I'm not sure if that's the right word to put it. But overall, I really do like your writing.

-Derii

[identity profile] seynee.livejournal.com 2011-02-16 02:32 am (UTC)(link)
Aww, thank you so much! I'm glad you liked my writing, it means a lot to me. ♥

[identity profile] glassygreen.livejournal.com 2011-04-05 12:58 pm (UTC)(link)
I would puke hearts for you. <3

(Anonymous) 2011-04-19 11:24 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry if I'm bothering you.

Someone online asked a question in a chat-box, and I'm pretty sure it's directed to me. She asked about pansexuality, and had ended the question with "How is it different from bi unless it includes animals and objects?"

I don't think she was deliberately being rude, but I can't help but to feel offended and even hurt by that. I'm pansexual myself, but it's not like I feel sexual affection for inanimate objects or animals. Pansexuality is about disregarding gender and loving a person for other reasons. You can call me gender-blind in the romance field.

Speaking of which, my dad's a great man. He loves me and I love him, but the one thing he won't accept about me is the fact that I'm pansexual nearing absolutely homosexual (bisexual in the norm's eyes). I can't get out of the closet in front of him now.

Thank you for putting this post up.

[identity profile] seynee.livejournal.com 2011-05-02 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
You are not bothering me at all, and I'm so sorry if you ever thought that way.

I think her question was mostly driven by her unawareness of such things. I guess the world (in general) is more... concerned, shall we say, on LGBT that most people don't know what pansexuality (as an example) is. That said, I don't know who you are, who she is, and what your relationship is like, so I suppose I can't really help much with that - although I would say one thing: it's okay to be offended and hurt with what she said, even if it wasn't directed at you.

Case in point: I'm friends with a girl who suffers from various EDs, and it bothers me when someone says, "But she's not even thin, are you sure she has bulimia?", even if it's not directed at me. I guess what I'm trying to say is... people don't understand. Some of them don't try to understand and some don't even want to. I'm so all over the place and am probably going in circles, but I hope you have someone who really truly does understand you, or at least won't judge you, sexual orientation or any other matter. It means a lot to have support, even if it's just one person.

Parents are a whole different issue. It's a sensitive one for me, especially regarding sexual orientation, because I am way more open-minded than they are. I guess it might just be a generational difference because such things were less... accepted in their era? Maybe you can wait a little, expose him to it little by little before you really come out. I don't think it's healthy to hide who you are from the people close to you, and it may come to hurt you in the long run.

I'm really, really, really sorry I've only replied now, and now that I have, that I can't help much at all. But know that if you ever need a place to vent, anonymously or not, I'll always be here. I won't judge. Promise.

I hope things get better for you ♥

(Anonymous) 2011-05-19 01:51 pm (UTC)(link)
My dad thinks I'm not his child because my mom was raped. He favors my little sister and doesn't give me any time of day. Whenever we have a family vacation, he always makes me wait in the hotel while they go sight seeing. He doesn't send me to school and tells me that if I want to go to school, I should pay for my own tuition fee.

My mom practically hates me because of the rape thing. My sister doesn't care. My relatives hate me more.

The only people I can trust are my friends.

Any advice?

[identity profile] seynee.livejournal.com 2011-05-23 08:17 am (UTC)(link)
First of all, I'm so, so sorry that you had to go through all of this. This is just so unfair.

I'm by no means an expert on these things, but does your dad speak openly with you? By that, does he act out what he thinks or is this just an assumption you have made (that he's treating you a certain way because he's not sure whose child you are)? What does your mom think about this unfair treatment? I can't imagine that she'll be a hundred percent encouraging of his treatment towards you. Regardless of whose child you are, he should have accepted it and at least tried to treat you as equally as possible the moment he married your mom - that's what I think. Making you wait in the hotel during vacations is just completely unnecessary; don't they have locks? Besides, the school thing sounds quite extreme - do you mean high school or tertiary education?

I'm sorry, but your family sounds very, very... mean. How did they end up blaming you for the rape? Anybody could see that it was nobody's fault! Is this how they've always treated you, from the moment you were born? D:

This will sound terribly insensitive of me, but have you considered testing?

Like I've said, I'm no expert on such things and I don't think I give the best advice, so I'll just tell you what I'll do if I were in your position: talk to them. Sit them out, really talk it over with your parents about how you feel, how they feel, make it all clear so there wouldn't be any misunderstanding or assumption about this anymore. If that fails, please, please do talk to someone. Definitely talk to someone. Do you have any teacher/school counselor that you can trust who might offer you more experienced advice? For what it takes, your parents definitely need to hear that how they're treating you is wrong, and if they don't want to hear it from you, then they should hear it from someone who's officially qualified for it.

At the moment, I'm just glad that your friends are there for you - they'll at least be your strength, and I always believe that as long as you have something to hold on to, you can get through just whatever.

(Anonymous) 2011-05-23 03:56 pm (UTC)(link)
I got used to it.

Yes, he does. I think my mom's still affected by the rape, she can't even look at me sometimes. At least they don't just leave me in the house. He paid for my schooling until high school, now I'm a junior on a scholarship and I'm working three jobs to pay for my tuition.

Probably. The second I started handling myself, they stopped nurturing me.

You mean like a DNA test? My parents considered that as a waste of money.

Everytime I talk to them, they just ignore me. I never had the guts to get help. I have trust issues.

Thanks! My friends are really nice and on more than one occasion, they wanted to help but I told them not to for a while.

(Anonymous) 2011-05-25 11:53 am (UTC)(link)
I go secretly ballistic over the smallest things. I never tell people but I feel it every time.

[identity profile] seynee.livejournal.com 2011-05-25 12:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes, I mean like a DNA test, just to settle things, for once and for all. If that's the case, I guess it can't be done... :/

I don't know. I don't know enough about you or the situation to really make a full assessment, but I'm afraid that the only way I see is to really, really talk to someone outside the family who can provide (professional) help. I understand that it's going to be mighty hard, even almost impossible, but it may just be worth it. What about your friends? If you don't want to talk to someone alone, have one or two of your closest friends accompany you. It's normal to need support, encouragement. You don't have to do it alone.

Why did you tell them not to?


[identity profile] seynee.livejournal.com 2011-05-25 12:26 pm (UTC)(link)
What kind of small things are you talking about? What's small for other people may be big for you and what's small for you may be big for other people. It's completely fine, it may just be a matter of perspective!

(Anonymous) 2011-06-21 01:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, if you're grammar is wrong, I might snap at you a bit. If you ignore me, I will secretly hate you for a while. If my best friend doesn't wear our friendship bracelet, I don't talk to her for a week or two. Stuff like that.

[identity profile] seynee.livejournal.com 2011-06-22 07:16 am (UTC)(link)
I see. I don't know. From my perspective, these are all pretty normal responses. I mean, if wrong grammar is your pet peeve, then I wouldn't be surprised if you get so annoyed with someone using the wrong grammar. Getting angry over someone ignoring you is a completely expected response, too, especially when you've done nothing to warrant that ignorance.

If you feel like you're so snappish for no apparent reason, though, it might not be the things that you think you're angry about that actually makes you angry. It could perhaps be another thing and you're just getting ballistic over these so-called "small things" because you're angry and you don't know at what, exactly. You could have just had a bad day, bad week, bad year, even. Things like that happen to everyone all the time.

One more thing: no matter what you feel, please try not to bottle up your feelings. Let it out, either by writing, talking to someone you trust, anything really. From my experience, bottling up things for a long time puts you at risk of exploding one day. I have once, and it wasn't very pretty. Other than that, I hope you figure this out!

[identity profile] seynee.livejournal.com 2011-06-25 02:27 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm so sorry I didn't notice you've replied earlier! And I'm late by... wow, five months. I'm sorry, that's terrible.

I think it's a relief that you're not in love with him, too! I mean, if he's so in love with the other girl (no matter if it's really love, obsession, an infatuation, a crush gone wrong or anything), then it's good you don't feel that way about him, right? That means you're safe from heartbreak, or at least I hope so.

[identity profile] seynee.livejournal.com 2011-06-25 02:30 pm (UTC)(link)
This.

I don't think that's being cynical. Relationships aren't always happy, and love isn't always requited. That much is true - I think you're being realistic, which is a great quality to have. :)

[identity profile] seynee.livejournal.com 2011-06-25 02:31 pm (UTC)(link)
MAJOR HEARTS?

(Anonymous) 2011-06-25 02:32 pm (UTC)(link)
I wish more people would talk to me, here on LJ. I see you having conversations with people on your f-list, like in comment threads and all, and I think, I wish I have that.

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