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I'm by no means an expert on these things, but does your dad speak openly with you? By that, does he act out what he thinks or is this just an assumption you have made (that he's treating you a certain way because he's not sure whose child you are)? What does your mom think about this unfair treatment? I can't imagine that she'll be a hundred percent encouraging of his treatment towards you. Regardless of whose child you are, he should have accepted it and at least tried to treat you as equally as possible the moment he married your mom - that's what I think. Making you wait in the hotel during vacations is just completely unnecessary; don't they have locks? Besides, the school thing sounds quite extreme - do you mean high school or tertiary education?
I'm sorry, but your family sounds very, very... mean. How did they end up blaming you for the rape? Anybody could see that it was nobody's fault! Is this how they've always treated you, from the moment you were born? D:
This will sound terribly insensitive of me, but have you considered testing?
Like I've said, I'm no expert on such things and I don't think I give the best advice, so I'll just tell you what I'll do if I were in your position: talk to them. Sit them out, really talk it over with your parents about how you feel, how they feel, make it all clear so there wouldn't be any misunderstanding or assumption about this anymore. If that fails, please, please do talk to someone. Definitely talk to someone. Do you have any teacher/school counselor that you can trust who might offer you more experienced advice? For what it takes, your parents definitely need to hear that how they're treating you is wrong, and if they don't want to hear it from you, then they should hear it from someone who's officially qualified for it.
At the moment, I'm just glad that your friends are there for you - they'll at least be your strength, and I always believe that as long as you have something to hold on to, you can get through just whatever.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-05-23 03:56 pm (UTC)(link)Yes, he does. I think my mom's still affected by the rape, she can't even look at me sometimes. At least they don't just leave me in the house. He paid for my schooling until high school, now I'm a junior on a scholarship and I'm working three jobs to pay for my tuition.
Probably. The second I started handling myself, they stopped nurturing me.
You mean like a DNA test? My parents considered that as a waste of money.
Everytime I talk to them, they just ignore me. I never had the guts to get help. I have trust issues.
Thanks! My friends are really nice and on more than one occasion, they wanted to help but I told them not to for a while.
no subject
I don't know. I don't know enough about you or the situation to really make a full assessment, but I'm afraid that the only way I see is to really, really talk to someone outside the family who can provide (professional) help. I understand that it's going to be mighty hard, even almost impossible, but it may just be worth it. What about your friends? If you don't want to talk to someone alone, have one or two of your closest friends accompany you. It's normal to need support, encouragement. You don't have to do it alone.
Why did you tell them not to?