INBOX.Leave me an anonymous comment pouring your heart out. Say anything. Tell me your stories, your secrets, those things no one ever asks but you wish to tell. Tell me about your love, your hate, your indifference, your joy. Tell me what's inside of you when you're reading through these entries on your friends list, and tell me why you continue to come back here. Tell me anything. Tell me what you really think of me or yourself. Anything you like.
Post anonymously. Speak honestly. Post as many times as you like ♥
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seynee
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no subject
Date: 2010-07-09 04:28 pm (UTC)My parents have high expectations of me, too, but occasionally they surprise me. I suppose it's just the parents thing, wanting their children to be really good. If it bothers you a lot, maybe you should try talking to them about it. They might surprise you!
About the friends thing. I suppose I have a lot of close friends rather than just one friend. I don't think it's a MUST to have just ONE best friend, because, well, whatever floats your boat, really. If you're comfortable the way you are, then you don't have to change. It's not wrong.
Grades aren't everything. They don't determine what kind of person you are or how successful you will be, trust me.
Umm... if someone insults you and you don't feel angry about it, I think it's actually better, because there are other things more worth your time thinking about. If the insults get really bad and you get hurt, however, may I suggest that you talk to the person about it? They don't have the right to talk about you that way because you've basically done nothing but turn a deaf ear at them. If you don't laugh at your friends' jokes, then maybe your sense of humor isn't quite the same as theirs. It's nothing to be overly worried about, I'm pretty sure!
It's okay. It's for this purpose. Take care, you! :)
no subject
Date: 2010-07-09 04:31 pm (UTC)But hey, look! You're more open here. That's a start :)
no subject
Date: 2010-07-09 04:36 pm (UTC)She's one of the best girls around. She's friendly, plays the piano extremely well, won some contests, had some recitals. People invite her to play for them. She's amazingly thin and keeps her figure well. I don't know if she's pretty because I don't think so, but to people she might be pretty. Long hair, large eyes, those stuff. She's liked by people. She was Prom Queen and she won debates without having to prepare for them.
I wish I'm more like that, you know? I've been told I'm nice and quite good-looking, but I wish I have her talents, her personality. Instead I'm just this ordinary person she outshines without even having to try.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-09 05:13 pm (UTC)As for your parents... my parents are like that, too. If they know that I have an LJ and that I'm pretty open about my life, they'll freak. I'm not exactly sure how to get around this, either. I know it's not nice to hide people who are important to you and it's really a dilemma. I'm not going to suggest this, but this is what I do with my parents. I tell them that I have a "friend from school", and when they ask for the friend's name, I just tell them what their names are. When they're ready (if they'll ever get ready...) I'll probably tell them the truth. @_@ It IS technically lying so I wouldn't suggest doing it, but... well.
Listening to you, I'm getting the impression that your parents are pretty traditional parents. Yeahhh, it's very frustrating when they just dismiss your opinion, especially when the reasons are "we know better than you" or "you're still too young". Maybe the next time they impose their opinions to you, you can ask them why and have a discussion or debate or the like. It usually ends with a fight every time I do that, but if you're clear-headed and you really want them to listen to you, it probably won't. Or you could pull the whole "whatever my opinion is my opinion and that is final" thing on them, because really, your opinion IS yours and that is final! /brick'd
I'm sorry I'm not much help. But good luck! ♥
no subject
Date: 2010-07-09 05:21 pm (UTC)I think it's normal to be a little envious. There's always that girl who is prettier, nicer, more popular, smarter, whatever-er than us, but we'll always have something more, too. It DOES get annoying when everyone is all over her when we're standing right there, but when you find something you have that you're really proud of, I'm sure it wouldn't bother you as much.
Someone once says something along the lines of... "no one's better at being you than you", and I always remember that line every time I need encouragement to be more of myself. :)
no subject
Date: 2010-07-09 05:29 pm (UTC)Haha, I totally pull that friend from school thing too. Or "she/he is the friend/family member of another one of my friends from school that you have never met and we met each other on the internet." I think my mom will start to wonder "why the hell does my friend have so many friends I never met" though haha
Sadly, my parents CAN'T take away the computer from me unless they want me to fail school. I have so much schoolwork that I can't possibly finish it in school and even in school I can still mess around with computers and the internet. The best thing they can do probably is to monitor me but they are always too busy to do that or fall asleep while watching. The only way I think I can overcome this is probably determination and self-discipline which is really hard P:
no subject
Date: 2010-07-10 02:49 pm (UTC)Really? Oh wow, does she believe you? But at least you've been honest about the having friends part. :)
Ohhh. You're taking the IB, yes? That makes the whole no computer thing impossible because you really need it. Essays, research and stuff. Yeah, I've been there. @_@ Okay, let's see... how about turning off the internet immediately after you finish using it? Or use the whole reward system, I suppose. Like... "do two hours of work and I'll get 15 minutes of browsing" and actually stick to it. XD
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Date: 2010-07-16 03:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-17 04:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 04:09 am (UTC)Vain, I know. But it's the truth, and isn't the point of this to be honest?
no subject
Date: 2010-10-27 06:00 am (UTC)You seemed so brave and larger than life, and I can't even remember you outside of that paragraph of hope that you left for me. I checked around and didn't see any other comments from you around that time, but I had to have friended you - my LJ has always been locked.
I can't remember defriending you either, but you're not in my list of friends anymore and that comment is two years old now and none of our interests are the same.
I don't miss you because I don't even remember you, but I think I might miss what we could have been. Maybe you and I could have been amazing friends, or maybe it was just fated that we not recall one another, like shooting stars crossing trails. I'm sorry for whatever it was I did that caused us to drift apart. Thank you for supporting me when I needed it. If nothing else, know that I loved you for that moment.
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Date: 2010-10-27 10:29 pm (UTC)It's okay to be a little vain sometimes; I think we all are, at one point of our life or to a certain extent. I just hope that you can believe that some people do look past physical appearances - I won't say all since that would be pushing it, but please try to have faith. :)
no subject
Date: 2010-10-27 10:35 pm (UTC)I don't remember what I did two years ago, and I don't know who you are, but I feel sad for we're not what we could have been. Reading this message assures me that you're a great person and you're very sweet to leave me something like this. I am definitely not larger than life or brave at all, but I appreciate you for thinking like that. People come and go, and it's when we have that realization of what could have beens that I feel like I should have done something more. If we have drifted apart, then I don't think it's something you did - a friendship is a two-way relationship, and now I'm just sorry I didn't try harder to hold on or to stay or anything like that. I just think it's sad that I might have missed something that could have been great.
Just. Thank you, thank you so much. I wish you well, whoever you are. :)
no subject
Date: 2010-11-02 11:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-11-02 11:10 pm (UTC)8D
Date: 2010-11-12 08:15 pm (UTC)...in that non-stalker-ish way. >D
I don't know, but your writing style makes me...inspired?
When I saw your old account on FFN, and seeing how much you changed and got better, I felt like I could do the same thing.
So, thank you for that. C:
[[The Sky's Bouquet @ FFN]]
Re: 8D
Date: 2010-11-14 11:56 am (UTC)Thank you, thank you, thank you. Extremely honored to be able to inspire you, even if it's only for a little. I'm sure you can do anything just as long as you set your mind to it!
Good luck, take care (:
Re: 8D
Date: 2010-11-17 01:54 am (UTC)Made me feel like smiling so much it hurts. :)
I...want to ask why you write. Lame question, I know, but really.
Me? I write to get away from pressure and my family.
(--you know those strict, over-bearing Asian parent(s) who are just...so stereotypical? Yeah, that's my dad. He wants me to go into the medical field and play the violin and do stuff I reallyreallyreally never ever wanted to do. .=/
It just...feels awful sometimes, knowing that he'll never get to know this side of me. He doesn't even have a clue about half the things I've done in my life. It's stupid, but I've pretty much have hidden everything that falls outside of my family's perfect daughter frame.
I know he loves me and wants the best for me, but...I don't know. I just don't anymore.)
What about you?
[/...I wrote way, way, way more than I needed to. ;---; I AM SUCH A DORK. >.<]
Thank YOU for listening.
Re: 8D
Date: 2010-11-17 08:35 am (UTC)It's not a lame question at all! I do wonder about people, too, sometimes. Hmm... I can't really name any one single reason why I write, to be honest with you. For me writing is a lot of things. It's fun. It's an escape from the world. I feel a special sense of accomplishment when I write—like, I create my own world, and it feels good. It's my number one passion, and it takes my mind off things. My reasons aren't interesting, I can say, but in short, I love writing, and there's nothing stopping me, so I write. :)
(I know you're not asking for my advice or anything, but can I just tell you what I think? Disregard this part if you want to, I won't mind! XD
Like you, I'm also Asian, and my parents are also kind of stereotypically strict. My mom, especially, wants me to play a gazillion instruments, and I follow her words because I know she wants me to have something to offer to the world. I'm lucky because it turns out I have some passion for music as well, and I enjoy playing piano/violin/whatever as much as my mom enjoys me playing it. In short, I just want to say that I can relate to you, I think, because my parents are also like that.
Can I ask you why your dad doesn't know? My parents know I love writing and encourage me writing, but they only know after I tell them, after they read some of my, uh, "works", for the lack of a better word. I don't know, I suppose I just think that if your dad knows what you want to do, he just might understand. It was a pleasant surprise to me when I realized how much my parents love me and how supportive they are of my writing hobby. I just feel that it's kind of sad you have to hide things from your parents while they love you. They might surprise you, honest. :)
That being said, realistically, I think writing isn't a stable career choice, except you want to go into journalism or something like that. I don't plan on making writing my source of income in the future because I'm not that confident. Some people are like that, some people live to write and I admire them for it, but I'm just not like that. Maybe your parents are just looking out for you and want you to go into the medical field because it is a more stable path than writing will be. Perhaps if you sit them and have a mature, logical discussion with them, they might just surprise you by at least being more supportive?
Anyway, HUGS. I don't know you that well, but my heart goes out to you and I hope you may find the courage to be more honest with your family, for really, they might surprise you. *is redundant* XD)
HAHAHA. This is so long, and I applaud you if you read all that—I tend to ramble, as you may have already noticed. And please don't worry! If there's anything I can help you with, even if it's just listening, I'll do it. It's my pleasure! Thank you for telling me all this, too ♥
no subject
Date: 2010-11-17 09:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-11-18 02:25 am (UTC)I don't think there's anything wrong with you, dear. This might be weird, but I suggest you surround yourself with positive people. From what I've experienced, whether we realize it or not, we tend to get affected by people around us. So if they're negative people (by that I mean pessimistic, cynical, etc.), we might think that way, as well...
Re: 8D
Date: 2010-11-19 02:31 am (UTC)The thing is... He /doesn't/ support my writing.
I've let him read countless pieces, for lack of better word :), ... and he's put them all down.
I also believe writing isn't stable as a career. Unless you're able to write Twilight or HP...it's going to be difficult, right? But, aren't foolish, stupid, silly dreams part of growing up?
(...Yes. I am still /growing up/ and younger than I may seem. Or not.)
He /hates/ it, that I spend so much time reading and writing and on the computer. (He checks my history, checks what websites I've been on, set up a blocking program, has an shortshortshort internet limit on the computer, and everything else in between. Luckily, I'm smarter than he thinks. And his passwords are easy to catch.)
It's not important, to him, to anyone in my family besides the cousins. Math and Science. Science and Math. Playing an instrument, being well-rounded, getting into Harvard or some other Ivy League college...
Ah well. Not every family is perfect, right?
:) I read all of it. Every word. And it makes me want to believe. Truly, really hope for a day when my dad can understand me.
Re: 8D
Date: 2010-11-20 05:43 am (UTC)I… I'm just going to take a wild guess here. If you're underage (e.g. you're still in high school or below), he's probably being really overprotective and making sure you're not wasting your time on the computer. My dad was like that once — I had this addiction with the computer in which I spent literally every waking moment with my eyes glued on the screen. He and my mom always tried to restrict it, e.g. trying to give me time limits (two hours a day), but it never worked. Until one night I was awake at 2 AM on the computer and my dad had enough. He unplugged my monitor and locked it in his wardrobe. It seemed extreme, at the time, but I was extreme, as well. We fought a lot and our relationship was really bad at that time — I was fifteen or sixteen.
I'm not going to tell you to go against your dad to "chase your dreams" or anything like that because I'm not as idealistic and I honestly do think that most parents want the best for their children — only "the best" is what they think as the best. Their generation and ours are drastically different. I'm also not telling you to stop fighting him because you do have a right to have your own goals and wants and dreams and whatnot. What I'd do if I were you… I would stick it out and wait until I'm "free". I used to hate being restricted and all that and there were only two thoughts that keep me sane: one, the knowledge that they're doing it for me, and two, the time left until college, where I can live on my own and basically govern my own life. That's my way of coping… I'm just sharing here. XD
Do you like the sciences and maths? I've always been more of a social sciences person and my dad is, too, so when I finally found the career direction I want to take and it seems stable enough, he was pretty supportive. If you do not like it and can't stand it and have a preferable option, you can try discussing it with him, I suppose. From what I've read I'm getting the impression that he really just wants you to have a good, stable life — possibly one that's better from his. It's a stereotype I've sort of noticed from Asian parents; the whole "children should be better than parents" in every sense of the word.
No, no family in this world is perfect. Some may seem preferable than others, but no family in this world is perfect. Just… please, don't lose hope. I am rooting for you! :)
LONG AGAIN. Damn, I really do babble a lot. Ahem. Thank you for reading every word, thank you for sharing this with me. I'm so honored and I will keep you in my thoughts! ♥
Re: 8D
Date: 2010-11-20 07:57 pm (UTC)I don't do things that I know are impossible. That's what makes me rooted to the ground and (dulldulldull) person in real life. Simply, I am not a risk-taker. I don't plan on becoming a writer, but it wouldn't hurt to do it part-time, right?
I must seem incredibly hypocritical. Writing all that in the previous post and now telling you I don't dream of becoming the next J.K Rowling. It is flat-out a one in a million chance. Which I won't probably be taking. =)
Science and Math. Math and Science. I, think, perhaps, maybe, am...*good* at those things. (I'm that nerdy little Asian girl that seems to fit the Asian stereotype /really/ well) Math comes easily for me, and science too. (I can't explain without telling you my age, so I'll just skip that. ^^)
But, then again, I don't care much for those things. I haven't really found a career path yet...That's the cause of most of my rifts with my dad lately. Science to my family means, like, biology and life and...yeah.
Hey, being able to write so much (and meaning it too) is a talent!
Re: 8D
Date: 2010-11-23 02:12 am (UTC)I don't know. I'd really want to sound all optimistic and say, "Oh, nothing is impossible if you really try!" and I suppose some things that we deemed impossible become possible when we do try, many, many times—of course with failing and picking ourselves back up as soon as it happens. I'm just not sure I want to take that path. Writing is fun as a side career, I'd say, and I think if you do that then you'll be doing what you want and doing what your family wants you to do at the same time… right? You don't seem hypocritical at all, actually.
Well, if you're good at those… then it should be fine for you to at least go through them. The subjects you take in high school do not determine what career you're taking, and although this might be a long stretch and a little strange, the course you take in college doesn't necessarily equal to your career, as well. My aunt took Chemistry in college and she's a businesswoman now, haha. :)
If I may know, is your dad working in the medical field? Because that tends to happen in Asian families… like, the child taking over the family business, or something. You don't have to answer if this is too personal or something.
Sorry for the lateish reply, by the way. My Internet has been driving me absolutely crazy! XD