seynee | spill your heart out.

spill your heart out.

INBOX.

Leave me an anonymous comment pouring your heart out. Say anything. Tell me your stories, your secrets, those things no one ever asks but you wish to tell. Tell me about your love, your hate, your indifference, your joy. Tell me what's inside of you when you're reading through these entries on your friends list, and tell me why you continue to come back here. Tell me anything. Tell me what you really think of me or yourself. Anything you like.

Post anonymously. Speak honestly. Post as many times as you like ♥

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I WORSHIP YOU. :)
...in that non-stalker-ish way. >D

I don't know, but your writing style makes me...inspired?
When I saw your old account on FFN, and seeing how much you changed and got better, I felt like I could do the same thing.
So, thank you for that. C:

[[The Sky's Bouquet @ FFN]]

Oh wow, this is the SWEETEST COMMENT EVER. ♥

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Extremely honored to be able to inspire you, even if it's only for a little. I'm sure you can do anything just as long as you set your mind to it!
Good luck, take care (:

See. You did it again.
Made me feel like smiling so much it hurts. :)

I...want to ask why you write. Lame question, I know, but really.
Me? I write to get away from pressure and my family.

(--you know those strict, over-bearing Asian parent(s) who are just...so stereotypical? Yeah, that's my dad. He wants me to go into the medical field and play the violin and do stuff I reallyreallyreally never ever wanted to do. .=/
It just...feels awful sometimes, knowing that he'll never get to know this side of me. He doesn't even have a clue about half the things I've done in my life. It's stupid, but I've pretty much have hidden everything that falls outside of my family's perfect daughter frame.
I know he loves me and wants the best for me, but...I don't know. I just don't anymore.)

What about you?

[/...I wrote way, way, way more than I needed to. ;---; I AM SUCH A DORK. >.<]

Thank YOU for listening.

You have no idea how you made me smile. :)

It's not a lame question at all! I do wonder about people, too, sometimes. Hmm... I can't really name any one single reason why I write, to be honest with you. For me writing is a lot of things. It's fun. It's an escape from the world. I feel a special sense of accomplishment when I write—like, I create my own world, and it feels good. It's my number one passion, and it takes my mind off things. My reasons aren't interesting, I can say, but in short, I love writing, and there's nothing stopping me, so I write. :)

(I know you're not asking for my advice or anything, but can I just tell you what I think? Disregard this part if you want to, I won't mind! XD

Like you, I'm also Asian, and my parents are also kind of stereotypically strict. My mom, especially, wants me to play a gazillion instruments, and I follow her words because I know she wants me to have something to offer to the world. I'm lucky because it turns out I have some passion for music as well, and I enjoy playing piano/violin/whatever as much as my mom enjoys me playing it. In short, I just want to say that I can relate to you, I think, because my parents are also like that.

Can I ask you why your dad doesn't know? My parents know I love writing and encourage me writing, but they only know after I tell them, after they read some of my, uh, "works", for the lack of a better word. I don't know, I suppose I just think that if your dad knows what you want to do, he just might understand. It was a pleasant surprise to me when I realized how much my parents love me and how supportive they are of my writing hobby. I just feel that it's kind of sad you have to hide things from your parents while they love you. They might surprise you, honest. :)

That being said, realistically, I think writing isn't a stable career choice, except you want to go into journalism or something like that. I don't plan on making writing my source of income in the future because I'm not that confident. Some people are like that, some people live to write and I admire them for it, but I'm just not like that. Maybe your parents are just looking out for you and want you to go into the medical field because it is a more stable path than writing will be. Perhaps if you sit them and have a mature, logical discussion with them, they might just surprise you by at least being more supportive?

Anyway, HUGS. I don't know you that well, but my heart goes out to you and I hope you may find the courage to be more honest with your family, for really, they might surprise you. *is redundant* XD)

HAHAHA. This is so long, and I applaud you if you read all that—I tend to ramble, as you may have already noticed. And please don't worry! If there's anything I can help you with, even if it's just listening, I'll do it. It's my pleasure! Thank you for telling me all this, too ♥

Believe me, I've tried. So many times. To the point where you can't hide the bruises beneath a shirt anymore. (take that how you want to take it as)

The thing is... He /doesn't/ support my writing.
I've let him read countless pieces, for lack of better word :), ... and he's put them all down.

I also believe writing isn't stable as a career. Unless you're able to write Twilight or HP...it's going to be difficult, right? But, aren't foolish, stupid, silly dreams part of growing up?
(...Yes. I am still /growing up/ and younger than I may seem. Or not.)

He /hates/ it, that I spend so much time reading and writing and on the computer. (He checks my history, checks what websites I've been on, set up a blocking program, has an shortshortshort internet limit on the computer, and everything else in between. Luckily, I'm smarter than he thinks. And his passwords are easy to catch.)

It's not important, to him, to anyone in my family besides the cousins. Math and Science. Science and Math. Playing an instrument, being well-rounded, getting into Harvard or some other Ivy League college...

Ah well. Not every family is perfect, right?

:) I read all of it. Every word. And it makes me want to believe. Truly, really hope for a day when my dad can understand me.

Oh, oh, oh dear.

I… I'm just going to take a wild guess here. If you're underage (e.g. you're still in high school or below), he's probably being really overprotective and making sure you're not wasting your time on the computer. My dad was like that once — I had this addiction with the computer in which I spent literally every waking moment with my eyes glued on the screen. He and my mom always tried to restrict it, e.g. trying to give me time limits (two hours a day), but it never worked. Until one night I was awake at 2 AM on the computer and my dad had enough. He unplugged my monitor and locked it in his wardrobe. It seemed extreme, at the time, but I was extreme, as well. We fought a lot and our relationship was really bad at that time — I was fifteen or sixteen.

I'm not going to tell you to go against your dad to "chase your dreams" or anything like that because I'm not as idealistic and I honestly do think that most parents want the best for their children — only "the best" is what they think as the best. Their generation and ours are drastically different. I'm also not telling you to stop fighting him because you do have a right to have your own goals and wants and dreams and whatnot. What I'd do if I were you… I would stick it out and wait until I'm "free". I used to hate being restricted and all that and there were only two thoughts that keep me sane: one, the knowledge that they're doing it for me, and two, the time left until college, where I can live on my own and basically govern my own life. That's my way of coping… I'm just sharing here. XD

Do you like the sciences and maths? I've always been more of a social sciences person and my dad is, too, so when I finally found the career direction I want to take and it seems stable enough, he was pretty supportive. If you do not like it and can't stand it and have a preferable option, you can try discussing it with him, I suppose. From what I've read I'm getting the impression that he really just wants you to have a good, stable life — possibly one that's better from his. It's a stereotype I've sort of noticed from Asian parents; the whole "children should be better than parents" in every sense of the word.

No, no family in this world is perfect. Some may seem preferable than others, but no family in this world is perfect. Just… please, don't lose hope. I am rooting for you! :)

LONG AGAIN. Damn, I really do babble a lot. Ahem. Thank you for reading every word, thank you for sharing this with me. I'm so honored and I will keep you in my thoughts! ♥

Actually, I'm just as an realist as you are. :)

I don't do things that I know are impossible. That's what makes me rooted to the ground and (dulldulldull) person in real life. Simply, I am not a risk-taker. I don't plan on becoming a writer, but it wouldn't hurt to do it part-time, right?

I must seem incredibly hypocritical. Writing all that in the previous post and now telling you I don't dream of becoming the next J.K Rowling. It is flat-out a one in a million chance. Which I won't probably be taking. =)

Science and Math. Math and Science. I, think, perhaps, maybe, am...*good* at those things. (I'm that nerdy little Asian girl that seems to fit the Asian stereotype /really/ well) Math comes easily for me, and science too. (I can't explain without telling you my age, so I'll just skip that. ^^)

But, then again, I don't care much for those things. I haven't really found a career path yet...That's the cause of most of my rifts with my dad lately. Science to my family means, like, biology and life and...yeah.

Hey, being able to write so much (and meaning it too) is a talent!

Oh! Well, I like being realistic, I think it's a gift personally. XD

I don't know. I'd really want to sound all optimistic and say, "Oh, nothing is impossible if you really try!" and I suppose some things that we deemed impossible become possible when we do try, many, many times—of course with failing and picking ourselves back up as soon as it happens. I'm just not sure I want to take that path. Writing is fun as a side career, I'd say, and I think if you do that then you'll be doing what you want and doing what your family wants you to do at the same time… right? You don't seem hypocritical at all, actually.

Well, if you're good at those… then it should be fine for you to at least go through them. The subjects you take in high school do not determine what career you're taking, and although this might be a long stretch and a little strange, the course you take in college doesn't necessarily equal to your career, as well. My aunt took Chemistry in college and she's a businesswoman now, haha. :)

If I may know, is your dad working in the medical field? Because that tends to happen in Asian families… like, the child taking over the family business, or something. You don't have to answer if this is too personal or something.

Sorry for the lateish reply, by the way. My Internet has been driving me absolutely crazy! XD

Sorry for this late reply. :) I thought we were done. ;;

No, my dad isn't in the medical field. He moved to America around the time he should have been in university/college/etc back where he was born.
Our family doesn't really talk about it...politics, I guess? I know my Grandpa was imprisoned for his political role, but that's about it. =.=" They don't tell us 'kiddies' anything.

I'm Vietnamese, not a single drop of blood another ethnicity in me. I was born here in the States, though, and have never seen of the place my parents were born in.

The only person in our family that is in the medicals field is my dad's little sister who is a pharmacist, and my mom's sister who got her PH.D in Japan. She does stuff with...cells...and...stuff. :)

...At least... I think. O.O

Your words, advice, and knowledge are extremely kind. ♥ Totally understand about the internet. I hate it when it randomly shuts off and doesn't work again until the next day.

Oh, no, it's okay! Don't feel obligated to reply ♥ :)

Ohh, I see. That's very interesting indeed. Wow, your Grandpa must be some kind of a big figure... And that's like my family, actually. No one ever tells us anything except my mom, and even then I have to sort of pull it out of her. Just out of curiosity, since you're born in the States, what language do you use with your parents?

Cells and stuff. Ha, all of my scientific knowledge escapes me. Not that I really have any to begin with @_@

No worries, dear. Just know that you can always talk to me about anything, one way or another ♥

I speak to them in a mix of English and Vietnamese. 8D I understand perfectly, but I forget words when I try to speak it...So it comes out a cluttered mess of both languages. It's kind of difficult, since there's so many guidelines for 'respect' that are different from the American language.

My grandpa was a lawyer? I think... O_-

Yeah, cells and stuff. >D Stuff is the easiest word to use when met with ... stuff.
Just like LOL and emoticons are used to fill in empty silences.

Ohh, I see, that's pretty interesting. I can relate to the whole cultural difference thing... I've been brought up the Chinese way but the views I personally have are so mixed with Western that they confuse my parents and sometimes we fight about it. XD

I like LOL. For some reason. I think I "LOL"ed a lot that there was this embarrassing moment in real life when I wanted to laugh, but all I said was, "LOL". @_@

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spill your heart out.

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